The moment the resistance kicked in (and how I handled it)

The moment the resistance kicked in (and how I handled it)

Have you ever felt a conflict brewing when it comes to your child? To the point where you can feel the resistance start to surface in your body because you know it’s nearing? The moment the resistance kicked in and how I handled it.

That was me this week with Julianna’s school.

Under her IEP it encompasses her education as well as her social skills just like all IEPs. However, right now our focus is on her social skills. For my daughter, I receive weekly emails getting updates on her social skills with the structured time they’re currently working on with her. I’m getting great feedback.

As her mother, where I see her growth is with unstructured time and her social skills.

Times like recess or lunch for example. Whenever she’s with children she wouldn’t normally interact with, it’s up to her to engage. It’s up to her to initiate play and explore with other kids.

I know what I see at home and the gold star feedback I’m getting weekly isn’t aligning.

We shared this with the school and essentially called them out on the disconnect. They suggested having an outside consultation behaviorist to evaluate my daughter.

This is where the resistance kicked in.

In this case, we’re not gonna get a trained eye evaluating my daughter. These behaviorists are coming in and *expecting* to witness a child not socializing at all, not engaging at all, not interacting at all.

My suggestion was to have my home team come in who knows her and knows her deficits. Instead, I was told,

“They’re not allowing people in the building” (when my home team was just there a few weeks back)

“If she says no can we still proceed with the evaluation?”

The problem is that I always get frustrated. I’m asking for my home team to be collaborated with. I have shitty thoughts like “isn’t Autism enough?” Now I have to get push back for every little fucking request?

I felt like I have to strong-arm them. I have to handle it.

BREATHE MICHELLE. I remind myself.

In situations like this, I have to take a step back and I have to do what’s best for my daughter. I can’t go ballistic at the school district for not getting my way. It won’t get us or my daughter anywhere.

If doing what’s best for Julianna means compromise then it means compromise, even if I don’t want to.

I tried breathing and challenging my shitty thoughts. And under those circumstances, I realized that my home team can at least be consulted for my daughter’s evaluation.

The north star is always Julianna and her growth.

If you make your north star your child and you learn the skills like I have to manage your mind when shitty thoughts surface, you will be unstoppable for your child.

Xoxo

Michelle

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