A Minivan on 2 Wheels or 4?! Which are you driving?

Hello Warrior Parents,

I was not planning on going off the timeline this week but I felt compelled to do so following this morning’s events.  I am a real mom of a child with special needs and although we are doing well, we still have our challenges, so it might be good to throw in a few blog posts from the here and now, especially when I feel so moved to do so in the hopes it helps you on your journey as well.  

So for the past year now, right around when we’re waiting for the bus to come in the morning, I watch an army of minivans just speed down my street.   So while my daughter is playing in the driveway with a ball or wants to play tag with her brother, this motorcade of vans one by one just uses my quiet residential street as some sort of cut through to go where they go at top speed, like they’re qualifying at Daytona 500.  

After looking at one of the vans, and the individuals in them more closely, I realize these are vans transporting special needs adults. I immediately get angry!  If that was my child in that car with somebody just racing down a residential block, I would not be happy.  I’ve tried several times politely to waive to the vans to encourage them to slow down, but they just ignore me.  In fact, I believe I got the single digit salute once, but I’ll just assume it was a light wave hello as she sped by.  Well… today was the last straw!  This morning as I was putting my daughter on the bus, one van was waiting with a practically revved engine.  When that bus door shut, the driver almost screeched his tires as he sped past the still stopped school bus.  I was livid.  Being a special-needs parent, I’ve always tried to be super understanding and sensitive to these vans, but I can’t stay silent anymore – unsafe is unsafe. 

I hopped in my car and I followed this van which turned out to be going to a day school.  I called the school to explain what’s been going on for the past year.  The secretary seemed completely apologetic and promised to do something about it.  Whether or not something happens I don’t know, BUT these vans have let loose some emotions I’ve had that I thought would be helpful to share with you. 

See, the thing is, it could’ve easily have been our outcome, that my daughter once she was older, be driven in a van like that.  In fact, the thought of her potentially going to live in a group home absolutely terrified me.  No one in my mind would love and care for my daughter like her mother.  It was my obsession to make her as healthy as possible.  It was my mission to get her as many interventions to make her as independent as possible.  Now that we’ve maximized our resources, and seen her blossom, my hope is that one day she’ll learn how to drive a car, and I can now actually see her having her own place, where I wasn’t so sure before.

My hope for my child is also my desire for every special-needs parent in that they are moved, possessed, and obsessed with the idea of providing their children whatever they need to get the best outcome. 

This is why I started coaching, and this is what it is all about for me.  I want to help parents with children with special needs do what I’ve done for my daughter, which is maximize her future potential. 

I am not saying that every child will have her outcome, but every child deserves the ability to have the resources to strive for a better future.

Ask yourself this:

“Have I done everything in my power to get the maximum possible results from my child’s future?”

What is your truth behind that question?  If you feel stuck, you feel hopeless, you want to throw up the white flag, or you have nowhere to turn, I am here for you.  Do not be ashamed.  Don’t feel because you are a parent you should just have all the answers.  I didn’t, and I’m still learning.  Instead of trying to navigate this journey without support, use my lumps and bumps to get to the finish line faster than I did.   

Time is of the essence.  I am trying to put out content and messaging as fast as I can think of it, but if you need help now, if you can’t answer that question with a HELL YES, then please don’t hesitate.  Your child deserves a parent in the driver seat who’s got all 4 wheels on the road with a destination in their sites and a map in their hands.  Not one trying to keep from swerving down the road on 2 wheels, hoping they get “someplace nice” with a blindfold on the whole way.

Till next time!

Michelle xoxo

 

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